Striving to be Simple

Happy Birthday Sam!

2009-04-25T14:33:00.003-05:00

Today, Sam turns 4! There are days when it seems like yesterday he was born, there are others when it seems like he has been around forever!

The second born child, oldest born boy in the family, he definitely keeps me on my toes. I describe him as the 100% child. Everything he does is full force. When he smiles, it is 100%, when he cries, it is 100% (you get the picture). He can be full on sweet and loving, and he can be fully a pest to others! He is kind-hearted, sensitive and thoughtful of others. He shares like a champ and is always wanting to give to others. When I look at him, I feel like I am looking at his dad. He is easy going, flexible and fun to be around.

He describes things in terms of numbers. The first time I heard this was after a day at preschool. He was telling me about the snack (always the first info to be shared) and was describing the drink with the biggest smile and told me it was 105 good. I think that was the biggest number he knows. Turns out it was probably sugared kool-aid, which I have never bought! He told us today that he is pretty sinny, to which we laughed like crazy at how funny and true it was (although he was really saying "skinny").

Sam at birth 2005Sam at one 2006

Sam at two 2006
Sam at three 2007

Sam at almost 4 2009

Where does the time go? Someone once said to me, regarding these years, "the days are long, but the years are so fast". There are days that I think will never end (many of them), but as I look back today on the past four years, I am reminded of how fast they really do go by.

Rewind 2 Years

2009-04-23T09:51:00.004-05:00

April 20, 2007, we brought finally brought our baby Nate home from the hospital. I have been thinking a lot about those days lately as I am getting ready for the March for Babies. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would become fluent in all the medical jargon of neonatology. What a ride!

We came home on oxygen and on an apnea monitor. We were educated on how to use the equipment that became a permanent fixture in our home. There was the big concentrator that was pretty noisy as it converted the room air into oxygen for Nate. Attached to it was about 50 feet of tubing that also attached to Nate. We were tethered to the machine. For outings away from home, we had a portable oxygen tank that we carried with us (there weren't too many outings at first, anyway). The apnea monitor ran on a battery during the day, but got plugged in at night. I will never forget the many nights of waking from a pretty good sleep to the awful loud beeps from that machine. I remember it rarely going off for a legitimate reason, but if the leads got loose or if they were not in the right place, or if he wiggled, it would set that thing off.

We lived with this equipment 24 hours a day for almost 5 months. What a glorious day it was, when the company came to pick it up for good as we no longer needed it.

Nate weighed around 5 pounds when we brought him home. The pictures don't really show how small he was. His face even looks full to me when I see it. He wasn't even into the newborn clothes yet.

Now, he is jabbering and running like crazy! What a difference a couple of years can make. When we brought him home, I had so many concerns about his future. Those concerns are slowly fading and I cannot believe the miracle he is.

As I prepare for the upcoming walk, I have been thinking so much of where this journey began and where it is today. I so want to see some of the people that we have met along the way, but it also brings so much emotion as I am also reminded of our other baby boy that is at his permanent home. I so wish I could see the two of them together, I can't imagine how cute that would be.

The Final Countdown

2009-04-20T13:18:00.007-05:00

I'm not sure where to start, as there has been so much going on lately.

On the baby front, I am happy to say that I have about 5.5 weeks left until we meet the newest member of our family. I have scheduled May 29 as the day of the C-section. I was somewhat disappointed that this is the route I have to take, but as my doctor and I discussed, it is the least amount of risk for the baby and myself. As much as I think I am a great candidate for a VBAC, I also know that my mental and emotional state couldn't take something happening to another baby. We do not know the sex or have any names picked out, as it is utmost important to us that we just have a healthy baby. We don't really care about anything else. I am growing larger and it is getting more difficult to do the day to day activities, but that is temporary!

Grace is about to wrap up her year at Kindergarten. It is hard to believe that the school year is almost over. She has done really well and is currently becoming quite the reader and has a real love for math. I am amazed at the way her mind works and it never seems to take a rest! She will be celebrating her birthday on the last day of school, May 27, which is also 2 days before the baby comes! That will be a busy week! Spring soccer will soon be wrapping up as well as the children's choir she is in at church. She is looking forward to a couple of summer camps that we have lined up, one is an animal camp and the other is a Spanish camp. She is hoping to learn some Spanish so she can talk with her aunt Kammie who will be home from Guatemala this summer. Sam is celebrating his birthday at the end of the week, he will be 4! Some days, I can't believe that he will be 4, and others, it seems like he has been around forever. I can best describe him as being 100% in all he does. He goes full force from the time he wakes up until he crashes at night. He has been attending a preschool put on by our local high school and really seems to like it. I barely get him in the door and he is out of sight, already joining in the group activities. He rarely even says goodbye to me. He is going to play T-ball this summer and also attend the animal adventure summer camp. He is finishing up the year of children's choir at church and loves singing so much, he just refuses to wear a "button" shirt, which is what I try to get him to wear to church! He is a really funny kid and makes me laugh like crazy and teaches me many valuable lessons.
Nate is doing great, he is becoming a very busy boy, which really warms my heart, because it just means that he is progressing in a very good fashion. He did receive his last year of Synagis this winter, which is a monthly shot to protect him against RSV. We did not have any bouts of any illness that were serious and I am now feeling like we are strong enough to not have to worry so much about him getting too sick. He has been slow to gain much weight, so he is still pretty small, but boy does he eat! He probably outeats both Grace and Sam on any given day, but I think he just burns it all up as fast as he can get it in. At 27 months old, he weighs slightly over 21 pounds. He is still receiving therapy from 4 different areas with the Missouri First Steps program, and he will continue with them until he is 3. We are in the process of evaluations again to turn some of his paperwork over to the school district so that we can transition him into their program at age 3, if he qualifies. I have very mixed feelings about this, but we still have 6-7 months to go before we really have to make those decisions. Speech is probably his biggest delay at this point, but I am not overly concerned. At one point in time, I thought Sam may not ever speak, and now his mouth doesn't stop unless he is sleeping!

I'm not sure if he really knows what is in store when this baby comes along, but he does point to my belly and say "baby" and then he will kiss my belly. It is so cute! He is getting to be a little more independent, which is wonderful to see. He goes up and down stairs beautifully, and will climb on anything. He holds a very special place in my heart and I just cannot imagine life without him.

There has been so much happening lately, but I do feel like things might be slowing down for a couple of weeks, then it will get crazy again. We are participating in the March for Babies walk again this year, which is a little under two weeks away - I'm not sure if I will be able to complete the full walk, but I am going to give it a try. We have a couple of birthdays, end of school, baby, summer activities starting up and so much to look forward to!

Take care and Happy Spring!

2009-02-05T16:24:00.009-06:00

It has been a long time since I have updated this blog, but I am back and hopefully, I can keep motivated! Since it has been so long, and with the timing of my return, I thought I would catch anyone who doesn't know about our story up.

In the fall of 2006, I found out I was pregnant with our third child. Our first born, Grace was just 3 and our second, Sam was only 16 months or so. On December 1, at my routine 20 week sonogram, we found out that there were two babies and that our family of 4 would now become 6! We were slightly surprised to hear of this, but we shortly came to terms and began to make plans for our life with many small children.

Christmas came that year and shortly after that, I began to have contractions. A couple of trips to the hospital complete with medication to make them stop and I was back at home with orders of bedrest. This happened for all of a couple of days, when the contractions began again. This time, I would not be returning home for a while. I was transported to another area hospital that had the specialists on staff and that also had a level 3 NICU, where I would likely stay until I delivered the babies.

I was placed on magnesium sulfate to stop labor from happening. The doctors suspected that the babies were suffering from Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, which meant that one baby was taking more of the nutrients and not sharing with the other. As time progressed, one baby's sac was becoming much larger than the other. In order to give both babies a chance at life, the doctor did a series of amnio reductions in which he took a rather large needle and drew off fluid from the bigger sac, all the while watching what he was doing on the ultrasound as to not poke the baby. I think I had this done 2 times, and he ended up taking a total of 3 liters off of baby A. In theory, we would keep this up as necessary in order to keep the babies both growing and receiving the proper nutrition.

Unexpectedly, my water broke and the babies' heart rates began to drop. The decision was made to take them via C-section. They were delivered and taken immediately to the NICU. I don't recall many of the events during this time, as the drugs seemed to really alter my state of mind. I don't remember even seeing the babies before they took them.

I will never forget my second visit to the NICU. The first visit I don't really recall, except that I think I was in the hospital bed. The next time I went, I was able to get in the wheelchair and make it there with help. I didn't know the seriousness of the situation. The doctors explained that babies of this gestational age had about a 50% chance of living.

Both babies weighed about the same, 1 pound 4 ounces and were about 11 inches long. They were both in the isolettes and were hooked to more machines than I had ever seen. Their eyes were still fused shut and would take weeks to open, their skin was paper thin and so transparent and their color was strange, and their ears were so thin and flimsy that whenever someone repositioned them, they would "fluff" their ears! Here are pictures of them when they were one day old (first is Nate, second is Noah).

At four weeks of age, both boys underwent surgery to close a PDA in their hearts. There is apparently a duct that naturally closes on its own when a baby is born, but with being so premature, it did not for them. Shortly after that surgery, we began to notice changes in Noah. He had begun to get sick and we weren't sure what it was. It appeared to be some sort of infection and his abdomen began to really swell. After several days of antibiotics and still no signs of healing, a surgeon was called to consult and the decision was made to transfer Noah to the local Children's hospital, where he would undergo exploratory surgery looking for the source of infection in his abdomen. February 12, 2007, Noah underwent surgery at Children's Mercy Hospital at 10:00 p.m. It was then that the doctor removed 1/3 of his small intestine as it had become diseased and was virtually dead anyway. We then waited and prayed. That was the only thing we could do at that point. Those few days were some of the most defining, life changing days of my life. On Friday, February 16, 2007 we sat in the conference room with the team of doctors and were told that there was nothing more that they could do, and we decided it was time to stop all forms of medicine to prolong his life. We carefully helped take out all the tubes and wires and we gave our sweet baby a bath and dressed him and rocked him and let him go.

We left our baby in the arms of Jesus, got into the car and went to see our other fragile newborn across town at the other hospital. Not your typical Friday! Anyway, Nate continued to grow and develop and spent the first 3 and 1/2 months of his life in the hospital. He did have one more surgery before coming home, which was for Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP) and was laser surgery on his eyes. We visited him every day, while so many friends and family cared for and took care of our needs at home (mainly our other 2 small children).

We brought Nate home on April 20, 2007 and he has been pretty healthy ever since! He turned two years old on January 4 and is doing very well.

I had expectations that as time passed, this season of our lives would somehow become less difficult and time would be a great healer. I have been wrong in my thinking. It seems this winter has proved to be one of the hardest thus far. Could be my crazy hormones, all the significant holidays/anniversaries of events, or the fact that time didn't make me love my baby any less than I did before. Whatever the case, I have been in a funk for quite some time.

Seasons are a changing, and I am slowly feeling better. Our family dynamics are changing as well, with the arrival of baby #4 in late May, so there are many things to be done and to keep me focused on the future.

Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with us through it all. I am hoping to get back in the swing of things and keep the blog better updated since we will have oh so much to share!

the cat's out

2008-12-02T18:45:00.004-06:00

This time of year is a wonderful time, but it also brings with it many memories and a certain sadness. It was just two years ago yesterday, I lay on the table getting my 20 week routine sonogram of my third pregnancy. It was then, in the presence of my husband and our then three year old daughter, that the tech informed me very blatently that "you do know there are two babies?" WHAT?? You've got to be kidding!

That was two years ago. I had already decided that with the third pregnancy, we would stop there and our family would be complete with three kids. The joke was on me that day as God revealed to us that he had other plans. After a few days of the news sinking in, I readily accepted the challenge and began to prepare for the soon to be family of six. Little did I know that just 4 weeks later, I would find myself in the hospital unable to stop the birth of our twin boys Nate and Noah.

The last couple of years have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have often felt like something is missing from our family. In the fall of 2007, I found myself once again pregnant, only to have it end in miscarriage. I have spent the last year in prayer as to the direction of our family. Is this it? Or will there be more? Whatever God will is for our family, let me be content with that and move forward.

With all that being said, and if you are still here with me, let me be the first (or the third) to tell you that God has spoken to us and I now know the answer to my prayers!

We are expecting again, in May (seems to be a magical time of year for us!) and are excited to finally announce comfortably to all who care to know! So there you have it - in case you haven't heard elsewhere.

no more appointments, please!

2008-11-19T13:55:00.003-06:00

So, the other morning we were out running some errands and when we returned home, there was a message on the phone from a little girl for Grace. Apparently, one of her classmates was calling her to "chat" or something. Seriously, does this really have to start already? I told Grace that the girl had called, then I told her that she just needed to wait until she saw her at school and find out what she wanted. I don't know this girl at all, she might be really sweet, but really, they are just 5!

Sam has really been enjoying preschool and I am anxiously awaiting one of the other high schools to open up their registration for the spring semester so he can continue to go. I have had several reports from various groups/classes he attends and apparently, he is quite the good little boy in all accounts. I have been told that he is so helpful cleaning up and follows directions, is polite, and very enjoyable. Is this the same boy we live with? Anyway, it is always great to hear good things about your children.

Nate continues to get better in the gut department, but I am worried that he may be coming down with something else now. He has had a lot of mucus lately and is very off balance (he will fall down very easily) and has been having trouble going to sleep lately. It always seems like its something, doesn't it?

Last week, he had a speech evaluation done with a different therapist to see if he qualifies to receive speech services as well. Today, we had a meeting with the service coordinator to review his current goals and discuss the plan for the next 6 months. To my surprise, he did qualify for the speech services and will begin seeing the speech therapist in our home once a week. In addition, we will continue to see the special instruction, occupational therapist and the nutritionist on a monthly basis. Pretty much, this means that we will have someone coming to see him approximately twice a week. In addition to that, we also go to the pediatrician once a month for his Synagis shot (protects against RSV). Let's pray that he stays healthy and we don't have to have any other appointments in addition to all of this.

Life is busy, whether I like it or not! I am positive that there is no turning back now, because I have heard that it only gets worse as the kids get older. I guess I should enjoy it now, while I can!

A well formed update.

2008-11-14T15:45:00.008-06:00

Probably more information than you ever wanted to know, but I am thrilled to announce that we have formed turds now! I won't even post a picture, but I am beside myself. For the first time in over a month, I haven't had to change Nate's bedding and clothes as soon as he wakes up in the morning as he has had poop all over everything. I am so hoping that we are on the road to recovery! Not only has Nate had the poop issues, but so did Sam. Now Grace seems to be the only one in the house with any remaining traces of the runs. At least she can take care of herself.

All righty then, no more potty talk from me. On to other business. Have I mentioned how great Nate is doing developmentally? Since getting his tubes in his ears, his speech has taken off in the last couple of weeks. He isn't really talking yet, but just to hear him babbling all the time is definitely a step in the right direction. I have always wondered why he has been such a quiet baby. Was it because he was on the ventilator for so long and never really cried or used his voice for several months? Maybe we cater to his every whim and he doesn't feel the need to ever whimper about anything. Whatever the case, he has always been extremely quiet, not much of a cryer or noise maker at all. He just got a speech evaluation this week to see if he qualifies for speech services in the First Steps program. He can say the b, d, m sounds pretty good and has quite an extensive vocabulary of words all beginning with the letter "b". He is now able to make some animal sounds and has become quite the chatterbox. He has also been stacking blocks quite nicely and likes to put anything "in and out". He has even taken up scribbling on paper. Most of these types of play are associated with children that are younger than him, but it is good for us to see a natural progression of skills. It eases me when these skills come naturally and that we haven't really seen much of a plateau of developmental milestones that we should worry about his future. He will catch up eventually, I'm sure.

Some pictures that I haven't posted. Halloween, which Nate was starting to get pretty sick, and some of our leaves from last weekend. Have a great one!

Home Sweet Messy Home

2008-11-06T12:44:00.002-06:00

We are home again! Nate was discharged on Tuesday afternoon and nothing was ever determined to be the cause of his sickness. I am still going with my theory, but I do think that he was dehydrated and did need a lot of fluids that we weren't able to get in him. He also received three rounds of antibiotics for "whatever" it may have been as a precautionary measure. I sure was glad to get out of there, it made me more uneasy the longer we were there, as I was sure we would pick up something else in that germ infested place. As for now, we will practice handwashing and sanitizing and pray that this thing will be gone!

Life has resumed and I am trying to catch up from being at the hospital for a few days. The house is a disaster (what's new?), I am going to try to actually cook dinner tonight for a change, and we are still in our p.j.'s. I can only do so much, you know! It was nice for a change to not have anywhere to be today.

Thanks for checking in and I hope to have some cute pictures and more exciting things to report in the next few days.

Bugs, Bugs and more Bugs

2008-11-03T15:09:00.002-06:00

Did I mention in my last post that I am up to my eyeballs in #?&# (aka poop)? I sure hope we are on the the way to ending this bug! Anyway, things have been rather crazy around here as of late. Nate has been ill for quite some time, I believe he probably got some type of rotavirus or something and has had the poos. Sam also has the same thing, only his started two weeks ago instead of three. Then on Tuesday last week, I think Sam and Nate both contracted some type of flu bug and both were puking. That only lasted for a day, thank goodness. On Wednesday, I took Nate to the doctor and was ordered to collect samples of poo and bring them in to be cultured for various bugs. In the wee hours of Thursday morning, I woke up puking and spent the day in bed. On Friday, Nate woke with a temperature that I could not get to go away. I was able to get the poo turned in on Friday afternoon. Saturday, Nate still had the fever and was really acting sick. We went to urgent care and waited literally all day until it was so late at night, they were going to admit him to the hospital. We declined and decided that we would rather him go to a different location. At 10 p.m., we took our babe to Children's Mercy downtown and he was admitted. He was a little dehydrated and they wanted to continue to look for the cause of infection. After receiving fluids, x-rays, a catheter to gather urine samples, swabbed in his throat, a tube shoved up his nose for a sample of what's in there, a spinal tap to test for meningitis, nothing has shown up. Luckily, today, his fever has broken and his IV fluids have been decreased. He has started a round of a broad spectrum anitbiotic being given to treat whatever bug he might have.

Personally, I think all of this is a virus and the drugs aren't going to do a whole lot, but I guess it's worth a shot. Funny thing is that all of this started with bunches of poo, and since going to urgent care on Saturday, the kid hasn't pooped again! Go figure! All right, he did finally go last night, so they were happy to get a sampling of that as well. We are making it right now, but things are a little chaotic. Someone needs to be at the hospital at all times. Sam has preschool and Grace has school and we also need to disinfect the entire house! Luckily, the weather is beautiful and I am able to open all the windows and doors and air out the place.

We are hopeful that Nate will be discharged tomorrow, but have been told that he needs to be eating and drinking more before they will let him go. He has received so much IV fluids, that his eyes are almost swollen shut because he is so puffy. No wonder he doesn't want to drink anything, you wouldn't either if you were so bloated. He is pretty much being held captive to his bed, as the IV tubing and the other heart/lung monitor cords are very short.

If you think about it, say a prayer for him to start feeling better and for all the bugs to vacate our premise!

A Little of This, A Little of That

2008-10-28T12:49:00.005-05:00

Time has gotten away from me, once again! Things have been hectic and it looks as though it might not be slowing for a while, especially with the holiday season rapidly approaching. So here's what has been going on lately . . . .

I haven't been feeling good and spent the entire day on Sunday on the couch -- what an awesome husband I have to take and care for the kids, while I rested. I'm sure he was more than ready to go to work Monday morning.
Our bathroom (at least one of them) remodeling project is slowly on its way to being finished. The workers are done with their part, now it is up to us to finish up with some of the details. One more coat of paint left and a few other odds and ends.

We missed MOPS this week since I still wasn't feeling that great. I was bummed as this is becoming a highlight for me as it is about as much adult interaction I seem to be getting lately.

Nate is pooping like there's no tomorrow. I don't know how he can possibly be putting weight on, when he is having such enormous amounts of output. I used to smile, very smugly, when my mom friends would talk about their children blowing out of their diapers. My children never did this -- until now! It is horrible. Needless to say, I have been doing a lot of laundry, diaper changing, gagging, and praying that this last tooth will make its way in soon.

Nate will be seeing all three of his therapists in one week, so we have lots of appointments. He also has his follow up appointment at the ENT on Wednesday.

Speaking of Nate, we were approved by insurance to once again receive the synagis shot for one more year to protect him against RSV. The shot is given once a month and the dosage is weight dependent. Last season, his February dosage alone was almost $7000!! Praise the Lord for insurance! We also seem to have an easy time meeting our deductible early on in the year as RSV season is November through April.

As if the poop thing isn't disgusting enough, Sam woke us up this morning at 5:15 a.m. screaming. I guess his tummy wasn't feeling too good and he had vomited all over his bed and himself, including his hair (?). After giving him a shower and changing his bed and doing yet another load of laundry, he was up and ready for the day. Thank goodness he is resting now and letting me have some down time as well. Tis the season!

Grace is healthy (as of today) and will have her last soccer game on Saturday. We have been so fortunate with awesome weather for all of her games this year. She really likes her team and seems to enjoy playing - although, I'm not so sure about her skills yet!

My sister living in Guatemala will be coming home for Christmas. It's so hard to believe that we are already beginning to make holiday plans, but I am super excited and have a few holiday surprises in the works. Should be a fun year!

O.K., pretty boring stuff (mostly gross), but this is the season of life we are in right now! I will leave you with a few pictures of other random things. Have a great week!

Surely we didn't think the children were eating our pumpkins?? Turns out we have some of the fattest squirrels in the neighborhood, as they have been spotted thoroughly eating our pumpkins! We are now storing what's left of our pumpkins in the garage.

Memorial Service 2008

2008-10-13T15:25:00.003-05:00

Each year, the local children's hospital puts on a memorial service for all the children that have left us behind. This was the second year we have attended. It wasn't any easier this year from last year. Sitting in a room full of people, families, parents, knowing that all of you have in common the loss of a child, is not ever a place I imagined myself to be.

Someone recently asked me how I could even go (this is also a mother who lost her son after 4 short weeks), and I guess I just feel like this is one way I can publicly honor and remember our Noah. As time goes by, his name is hardly ever mentioned, even though he is with me every day.

Each year, families who lost a child are able to contribute a quilt square to be made and hung at the hospital. At the memorial service the previous year's quilt is unveiled and put on display before being permanently hung in the hospital. Below is a picture of the 2008 memorial quilt and the next picture is Noah's square, lovingly made by my aunt Margie. It looked great and if you are ever at Children's Mercy, stop by and see it!

At the end of the service, everyone is given a box containing a butterfly. We all go outside and after a few words, we release the butterflys into the sky. The kids really love this part and I'm sure the butterflies enjoy it as well!

parades, pumpkins, princesses and preschool

2008-10-07T16:49:00.007-05:00

Be prepared: This is going to be a group of posts all rolled into one!

One of the high schools had their homecoming parade about a week and a half ago. Schools got out early and we loaded up to go watch. Most of the clubs/organizations/teams had a float and were throwing candy from them (probably the reason we went). We went with our friends and everyone had a good time and now we have enough candy to last us until Easter.

Even Nate enjoyed his very first sucker!

We decided to hit the pumpkin patch early this year, as last year, all the pumpkins in the field were pretty much rotten. I also thought I would take advantage of our warm weather and go on a nice day instead. Much to our surprise, we were sweating heavily out in the patch as it ended up being over 80 that day! Didn't get a lot of pics, probably because my mom went with and I usually let her take the pictures, but here are a few from the wagon ride out to the field. By the way, when we got out there, most of the pumpkins were rotten and very picked over (so much for my theory of going early).

Last weekend, after soccer, Grace and I attended a princess party, a fundraiser put on by a group providing free dental care for children. This year, she decided to go as Ariel (the mermaid), and I went as myself! We listened to princess stories, visited the wishing well, decorated cookies, got the royal primping, face painting, visited the tooth fairy (whom Grace knew was not the "real" one, because the "real" one is much smaller -- small enough to fit under your pillow and all), did crafts, got her nails done, and listened to the "real" princesses in concert! It was a busy day. Grace is sure that Aladdin must fly in the "real" princesses (high school girls dressed up like the Disney ones) on his magic carpet all the way from Florida. I don't let her think otherwise! Several friends were there also, which made it a fun day for all.

Today was Sam's first day of preschool. It is held at the high school, and is put on by the child development classes there. He was so excited and loved being a big boy. He walked in, put his backpack in his cubby, put his lunch in the fridge and began playing. He might have looked up to say "bye, mom", but I don't even know if he did that! He has no problem being away from me!

And finally, around 4:45 this afternoon, he is alseep like this, worn out from his busy day.

We are also in the process of renovating our bathrooms, in which work began today, hooray! Most all of the demo is done and now we (I mean, Dave, our workman) start to put everything back together. I can't believe I forgot to take "before" pictures (well, actually, I can believe it), but I will definitely take some now and also after the work is complete.

It is well, with my soul.

2008-10-02T17:35:00.004-05:00

Just an update to let everyone know that Nate's surgery went very well and he is back to his sweet self already. I was so relieved when anesthesia informed us that he would not be getting an IV, but instead, just a mask with the anestetic gas to breathe. As Ed handed him off to the nurse, he was sound asleep and when they came for us less than 30 minutes later, he was handed back to us still asleep. I don't think he ever knew what he went through.

Already I think he is feeling better. I have been somewhat concerned about his appetite of late, as he won't eat much of anything for the last couple of weeks. This morning alone, however, he ate 2 regular sized pancakes and a handful of cereal. He seems to be eating better and he is much happier in his temperament. He has been so clingy and fussy lately, and while I love holding and snuggling with him, it has really started waring on me. He has been altogether pleasant and not really fussy at all. My hopes are that this will be his last surgery for a very long time and that he will continue to thrive as he has to this point.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers yesterday. Ed and I were very calm and not consumed with worry throughout the whole morning. Glory to God for watching over us during this time.

Oops, I did it again!

2008-09-30T14:02:00.001-05:00

I ran across this picture and wanted you to see that this is indeed a common occurance in our household. This time, however, since all the paper was in the hall, I just scooped it up and trashed it and started a new roll.

We have been busy lately. I thought once summer ended, our calendar would slow down. No such luck. Our weekends are filled with soccer each Saturday and then usually some other event. Grace enjoys playing, but I don't think it will ever amount to anything more than just recreation (which I am secretly glad). She has been caught on tape running by us and waving at the camera, all the while the other team is scoring! That really made her daddy proud -- and speaking of her daddy, look who got in on the coaching action a couple of games ago.

By the way, I did get my menu planned for the week and went to the store today. This is the third week, now, how many times does it take for a new habit to be formed? I hope I'm on my way! Speaking of the store, as I was standing at the deli counter getting lunchmeat, Nate began screaming (out of character for him) and as I turned around and questioned the happenings, Sam explained that he had just bit him on the arm. This was just the beginning of the trip, but needless to say, I did get what I went for (it was a short list, thank goodness).

Now, as I sit here, both boys are in their rooms napping! I have fixed myself a sandwich and am hoping to get at least an hour to myself. Sounds nice, except I need to finish up a load of laundry from this morning, clean the kitchen, pick up the living room and finish my cleaning out of Grace's room.

Nate awoke early yesterday, but I let him just stay in his bed until I was ready to get him up. I guess for that, I got what I deserved. See, I went in and there was an awful smell -- yes, he had pooped, diarrhea, out of his diaper, down his legs, all over his bed. Yuck! Double yuck, that I didn't notice all of this until I picked him up and got it all over myself! Even after three babies, this still grosses me out. I guess it was time to change the sheets in his crib, after all, it has probably been at least a couple of weeks or possibly three (who's counting) since they were changed. What a way to start the day.

While I was trying to be productive this morning, the kids were watching t.v. (I hardly ever allow that)! Some movie was about to come on and I told Grace that if it was something inappropriate, she would have to change the channel. It ended up being a Garfield movie and they were so excited. They saw one once while we were on vacation. She said to me, "mom, the only thing bad about this is that sometimes Garfield burps." How lovely to my ears that she is still so innocent that this is cosidered a "bad" thing. Sometimes, I hate the t.v. I wish I could just get rid of it totally like McMama did with hers. I don't know if I could ever really do it, and if I did, it would have to be in the late spring/summer when all that is on is reruns or something.

Tomorrow is Nate's ear surgery. Please keep him in your prayers. We are to check in at 6:00 AM -- yes, that's right, at the children's hospital. Even though the surgery is relatively minor, I am very anxious about it. I am having a hard time with not being afraid that it might be the last time I ever see my child, which I know is probably normal after losing a child, but I still want to be at peace and not get so worked up. Hopefully, this will be the last surgery for a long, long time.

I really need to get back to my chores, as two little boys will be waking up before I know it. Have a great day!

Muffins and Makeup

2008-09-26T12:59:00.002-05:00

Today was an early release day for Grace's school. I really think they are trying to keep me on my toes! When school is out early, the afternoon kindergartener's go to school in the morning along with the morning kids. So, not only do we have to get up and going earlier, but our bus number is different as well. On top of that chaos, today was Muffins with Mom day, where all the moms are invited to come and have breakfast with their child before school starts. Thank goodness Ed was able to go in to work a little later so he could stay with the boys this morning.

Knowing it would be an early morning for us, I made sure and prepped Grace for our busy day last night. Much to my surprise, she awoke extra early, got herself dressed and ready for school all by herself and came in and surprised me as I was getting ready. This is what she looked like!

I told her how beautiful she looked, then told her to go and show her daddy how pretty she was. Holy cow! Who taught this girl makeup application? Finally, after I came downstairs, I kindly let her know that her school did not allow girls to wear makeup. I washed as much of it off as I could. I then convinced her to change her clothes and comb her hair. She was so proud of her hair, as she even said, "mom, I even got my rooster tail to lay down".

She is growing up and becoming quite the little girl. I don't think that a career as a makeup artist is in her future, though!

Teach, Your Children Well . . .

2008-09-24T11:05:00.005-05:00

While Grace is at school, Sam has gotten quite helpful. He really is bored. I decided that it's never too early to teach them how to do the laundry. I have been blessed with a husband who's mother taught him to do laundry also, and I hope to pass that along to both my boys.

Who needs a gym membership when you can strap on an 18 pound pack and proceed to scrub the kitchen floor? I venture to bet that not many people still carry their almost 2 year old around in one of these! Nate has been very clingy lately, he just follows me around like a little puppy and whines. I usually can't resist picking him up and doing whatever it is that needs to be done. It does get quite strenuous at times, though!

Have a great Wednesday!

Meal Planning

2008-09-21T22:01:00.002-05:00

Because so many are dying to know, I have again successfully planned another week's menu and have my shopping list all ready to go. We have a busy week ahead and it will be so nice to actually know each day what the plan is. If you would like your own menu planning ideas, check out http://orgjunkie.com/ and browse through all the menus posted there. How much easier does it get than copying someone else's ideas?

Mid Afternoon Musings

2008-09-18T16:58:00.003-05:00

Ever feel like a feminine napkin?

That got you looking, didn't it? Anyway, this is not going in the direction some of you may be thinking (clean up your minds - you know who you are!).

This afternoon, while trying to clean up the kitchen, including the floor, I was also feeding Nate a bite of peach yogurt each time he circled through the room. After about the 5th time or so, his face was getting sort of messy. Did I bother to wipe his mouth - NO! Instead, he must have felt the need to wipe his own mouth, all over my pants. Good thing I decided early on that I wasn't going to shower today.

All this, and my sick sense of humor really began to tick. Halloween is just around the corner - how about dressing up a little fancier than today, letting all my many small children rub their grimy hands and faces all over me! A feminine napkin -- I think I am on to something!

Ride, Sammy, Ride!

2008-09-18T12:53:00.017-05:00

Sam is now able to ride his bike. I knew all along that he really could pedal, but he always seems to use his feet on his big wheel like the Flinstone's did. He now only wants to ride his big bike (thanks Aunt Wendy for the bike and Grandma and Grandpa for bringing it to us) and can go quite fast. He is not a fan, however, of his helmet and promises me to go slow without it! Where does the time go?

Busy, Busy

2008-09-18T12:53:00.012-05:00

Yesterday morning we went to the community center for a Barn Yard Bash activity. Upon leaving, we needed to get lunch and hurry to get Grace to school by 1:00. Then, we had the nutrition/dietition appointment at 3:00. Then choir at church at 6:30. What a busy day! Anyway here are some pictures and videos of our day.

Yes, this is Nate eating glue from the bottle while I was busy helping make some of the crafts. I believe it is non toxic. No wonder he has trouble with his weight, he belly is always full of these other "fillers". He especially likes to munch on cat food while I'm not looking!

Houston: We Have Weight Gain

2008-09-18T12:53:00.004-05:00

That's right, Nate has gained some weight this month! We have been in a little slump for the last three months and haven't had much progress, but this month the tables are slowly turning. We have a monthly visit from the nutrition/dietition gal from First Steps where she weighs and measures him and we talk about his eating habits and any other concerns. As I am not worried about the boy starving or anything, I am concerned about him having enough fat for brain development. While I am not worried that he isn't developing in a positive direction, we must be aware that he didn't necessarily start at the same starting line as others his age did, and therefore, we must do everything we can to help close the gap developmentally. Enough said, now, how about a contest? What is Nate's current weight? He is 20.5 months old and 30 inches long. Leave a comment with your guess.

Habits

2008-09-16T13:27:00.007-05:00

Aahhh, once again, both boys are napping! And what am I doing, you ask? Let me tell you that I am soaking up every quiet moment present, indulging in a big bowl of Chipolte chips and guacamole. Something about the salt on their chips, it has a lime taste to me, and the guac - thank goodness the kids don't like it, so I don't even have to share!

Habits are really hard to break, but I think sometimes they are even harder to learn. You might think that while I have been doing this domestic gig for about five years now, I might have picked up some good habits along the way. Unfortunately, I must say that I have yet to really rack up a list of good ones. There is one that I am really trying to tackle of late. Let me explain it to you.

Scene: It's 4:00 p.m. and hubby phones home. "What's your plan for dinner?", he asks. PLAN?? I never seem to have a plan. So, for the next two hours, I elevate my blood pressure, scream a little more than usual at the kids, open the fridge and pantry about 20 times just to see that everything I could possibly make is still frozen, and then swear to myself that I won't let this happen again tomorrow. Then, I pick up the phone and call sweet hubby, and say ever so sweetly that I indeed don't have a plan and am having trouble coming up with anything. Would he ever so kindly stop and pick something up for us and I promise him this will be the last time!

I am tired of this scene and I am going to try so hard to change it. I have planned menus before, I have even been in a cooking group that exchanged freezer meals, but I have never stuck with them long enough for them to become, well, a habit.

Last Friday, when the boys napped (boy, you can do a lot when they actually nap!), I sat down and planned a menu for this week. I made the grocery list and all. Then I started to think that there has to be some tool out there to help me make this task easier. After much time spent at the computer, I came across this organizing site that posts Menu Planning Mondays every week.

Here, the author posts her own weekly menu, plus many readers (like 300 or so) also link their menus to this site as well. Most of them also include recipes. After browsing through many of the already made menus, all I did was copy someone else's menu, print any necessary recipes, and make my grocery list. Ta-da, it only took about an hour and it was fun to see what other moms are cooking.

So, today at 8:30 a.m., I already knew that I was going to make fish for dinner and I got it out of the freezer to thaw and I am set! Also, since I have a plan, I bought enough ingredients at the store to double the recipes for a couple of nights this week so I can freeze a couple extra dinners to have on hand. And the best part yet, I only spent a fraction of what I normally do when I go to the grocery store.

Biggest question now, is, how long will I keep this up? Well, I am hoping someone out there reading this will ask me how this is going every once in a while, just to keep me on my toes!

I must be going, Sam is starting to wake, probably needing to use the restroom, as I forgot to make him go before he went to sleep. Now there's another habit I have to work on!

2008-09-12T16:03:00.003-05:00

This school thing is really getting to me, I mean, I just have been having trouble keeping on top of everything. Anyway, with school started, the kids also started back to children's choir at church on Wednesdays. This year, Sam is even old enough to go. His group is already singing on Sunday, so it should be entertaining to watch. While the kids are in choir, I have been attending a women's bible study at the same time. We are reading A Jewel In His Crown by Priscilla Shirer. I am really looking forward to it and hoping to learn more about letting God's love shine through me.

I also have been able to get both boys to nap this afternoon, which is only the second time ever since Grace has been in school. I am loving it! I have gotten 4 loads of laundry done and have even done some menu planning for next week. Now, if only I could make this happen every day . . .

It has been raining here for days. Sam woke me up this morning by singing, "the rains came down, the floods came up". He said he learned that in choir. He has only been two times so far, I'm not sure that he really paid that much attention! It was so cute nonetheless.

Grace is due home in a few minutes, and I must go and hide the small, but now empty bag of cookies I just had! Have a great weekend.

Learning to Let Go is a Process

2008-09-09T16:31:00.005-05:00

Check this out! In the five years I have had children, I have managed to keep the colors of playdoh from mixing. Today, for the first time ever, I allowed the kids to mix all the colors up! Yes, I'm one of those moms. Ever so slowly, I have been trying to learn to give up some of my controlling tendencies.

Also, note if you will the picture of Grace as she got ready for school today. It is hard to tell in the photo, but she has about 3-4 bracelets on each arm, a couple of necklaces, and she informed me that she also put on a "little" body glitter in addition to all the other bling. I did make her rub the glitter around her neck and face, as there was one big glob across her throat. I still don't let her pick out her own clothes, but I did agree for her to go to school with all her pretties on! She was so confident of herself and thought her jewelries were so beautiful, why should I take that away from her?

Growing Up

2008-09-04T21:37:00.003-05:00

Hard to believe my baby is growing up so quickly! Nate is 20 months now and has had a very busy last couple of months. He has learned to walk and climb and is getting around anywhere he wants. He has been a pretty good eater and is even beginning to use a fork to eat, even though he opted not to in the picture! With all of his great eating, he is still having trouble gaining weight. We are still bordering 18 pounds, and have gone 3 months now with no significant gain in weight. He is getting taller, so his height/weight ratio is decreasing. Not a great thing, but we are trying some new things and are monitoring his growth closely with the help of the dietition.

He is scheduled to get tubes put in his ears on October 1, which we are looking forward to. I think he has had around 12-14 ear infections already. The antibiotics do not work anymore, and we are choosing not to try them any longer. I am hopeful that once he has the surgery, he will be so much happier. He has been the most easy-going baby, but he last month or so, he has been cranky. I think he doesn't feel good most of the time. He is also cutting teeth, which doesn't make things any better. Speaking of teeth, he already has 12, and is cutting #13.

He has been impressing me with some of his developmental skills. He has learned to nest toys together, stacking them as well. He is also able to drop the shapes into the shape sorter toys, or put a ball into a round hole. He uses his finger to point to everything. He will now come to us and put his arms up wanting to be held. He will use the drum sticks to play the drum. He is also getting more and more verbal. He now can make the "B" sound and we like to think that his vocabulary is quite large. Ball, bus, bye-bye, bite, bug, boat, boy, just to name a few. Of course the sound he makes for all of these is "bah", so we just pretend that he is saying whatever is relevant to that situation! He is waving his hands bye-bye all the time, which is very cute. He has learned to climb onto the step stools just like big sister and brother and he thinks he is hot stuff. It was really cute the other day, Sam was teaching him how to wash his hands in the bathroom.

Time passes so quickly. I am sad to say that he no longer looks like a baby and is starting to look and act more like a little toddler. He is still my snuggle bug and I don't miss a chance to snuggle with him.

All about Me, Me, Me

2008-09-04T20:59:00.002-05:00

I have been a very selfish mother. Even after I had Grace, I pretty much continued to live my life doing exactly what I wanted to do. I just brought her along. After I had Sam, things were rough. It was no longer about what I wanted to do, and things got a little difficult. I was forced to give up a lot. After some time, I eventually figured out how to turn things around so that my needs were met also. I figured out a way to justify watching HGTV during the day, because it is pretty much rated G and since there isn't really anything else for the kids to watch, figured out how to get the kids to let me be in the morning hoping to sneak in a few extra minutes of laying in bed, arranged playdates with MY friends and their kids, so that I could visit while the kids played and left the adults alone. Anyway, looking back at what type of mom I have been thus far, well, I'm not really proud of myself.

I have learned the really hard way, that the time we have with our children is very short. I am trying hard to not live in fear that today might be the last day we have, but that thought is always in the back of my mind. When I say that I want to live like there's no tomorrow, I don't mean going out and whooping it up.

I want my kids to know God. I want them to know that I love them. I want to watch them breathe. I want to snuggle with them in their jammies. I want to read books, or tickle, or play playdoh. I want to be engaged with them.

I am sad that it has taken me this long to finally "get" this. There will be plenty of time for "me", just later. Now is not my time. I have made many friends, who some are in different "places" than I am, and they are able to have more time for themselves. I have tried so hard to be there with them, and have struggled to keep up with all the activities. I am done with that. I am sitting this one out. I'm tired to running the race to keep up with everyone else, when I am failing my own family.

I think this is why I have had so much trouble with Grace going to school this year. To some degree, my time with her is less. I will not get these preschool years back, and I have robbed her of my undivided attention. By any means, I don't think my children are mistreated or troubled or anything, but I don't feel like I have been all that I wanted to be for them either.

I love all of them so much and I want to live my life with no regrets, therefore, I am slowly surrendering my selfish vices in order to fully be the mom I desire.

Who am I?

2008-09-02T22:56:00.004-05:00

The next few posts will be a series of ramblings, as I try to communicate some of my thoughts about life after losing a child. First, I think I need to provide some of you a little background information.

Noah at 15 days old.

In January of 2007, we welcomed identical twin boys into our family, born at just 24 weeks gestation. After just 6 short weeks, we had to say good bye to one of our sweet boys, Noah. Nate remained in the hospital for 3.5 months before we were able to bring him home.

After experiencing any loss, there is a proper grieving process one must go through. It was very tough for me to properly grieve my child, mostly due to our family situation. We had two young children at home (3 year old and 1 year old), and we also had Nate, who was not out of the woods himself. Even after we brought Nate home from the hospital, our lives were very busy and I did not have a lot of time to work through my feelings about Noah.

Noah the day he passed.

Anyway, I found a doctor and began going to therapy. I continued to go for the next year. During that time, I was taking a couple of different medications for the depression and also to help me sleep at night. I enjoyed my time spent with Lily, and learned a great deal about myself in the process.

About six months ago, I sort of quit seeing the doctor, and without seeing her, I also quit taking all the medication. Probably not the best decision I’ve ever made, but it is what it is. She was wanting me to come about once a week and it was becoming very stressful to me to find childcare that often to go. So I quit.

Over the last six months I have done a lot of self analysis and reflection, praying, reading and working on my relationship with God.

I am a changed person. I have been waiting for the last 18 months for the “old me” to return. It has not. It never will. I will never be the same person I was 18 months ago. I feel like a misfit. I have a changed perspective.

My sincere apologies to the friends who have stood by my side through all that has happened and helped when no one asked you to help. I have been withdrawn from you, because I don’t feel like I fit in like I used to. It is not because of you, it is because I am a different person now. I am still discovering exactly who I am.

If only . . .

2008-08-30T22:31:00.002-05:00

If only I could take pictures half this good! We just got a super nifty printer/scanner/copier machine and my dear husband scanned in these photos for us. No way did I take them, and it is probably illegal for me to be doing this, but I had to share. They were taken around each of their birthdays, so they aren't exactly recent. Within the same year, though!

Long weekends. Love them.

2008-08-30T11:12:00.003-05:00

I love long weekends. I love having my husband home for even just one extra day.

I am able to have so much more quality time with the kids when there are two of us around. Grace and I went to the store together this morning and sat and ate a donut before we shopped. It was there in Hyvee that she told me about some of the things that have been happening in her classroom at school. She hasn't had the opportunity/desire to tell me much up until this point. I love hearing about her day.

I am so blessed to have a helpful and willing husband. Not only does he do everything to care for the kids, he also does laundry, cooking and cleaning as well as outside maintenance. Did I say that he does all this willingly?

I have a new concept I am trying to get him to present to the president of his company. It is called reverse retirement. Wouldn't it be great if, while our kids were little (before school age), if he could be at home with us daily, and then make up those work years after the children were in school. Anyway, it sounds great to me!

Have yourself a great long weekend and enjoy your time with your own family!

Random Update

2008-08-25T18:21:00.004-05:00

It seems that the much anticipated "break" I was going to get when Grace started school, isn't as much as I would have thought. I am now officially Sam's main playmate. Not that I don't enjoy playing, but I was hoping to get a few things accomplished once school began. I have been getting a little cleaning done in the basement, since that is where Sam likes to play. I have been turned on to a really great website, http://www.freecycle.org/, that lets you list items that you would like to give away. I have been weeding out some of the unused items in the basement and listing them on the site and within hours, someone comes to the house and picks the items up. I just leave it sitting on the porch and no hassels or anything. It is great, because it allows me to get rid of things a little at a time. The group is set up for specific cities, across the nation, check them out in your part of the world!

We are currently in the process of hiring a contractor and buying the materials to remodel our bathrooms upstairs. Hopefully, we will have them wrapped up before the end of the year. It has been fun to make this home our own over the last four years. Not sure how we will fare with having a bathroom unavailable (especially our only tub), but we will manage!

This fall has been and will be full of changes. Please pray for me that I can adapt and figure out my place in everything happening around me. I hope to post at a later date some of the specifics about all of the changes happening.

Here are a few pictures from our day picking peaches and apples at Roger and Deanna's. Thanks to them for letting us pick and eat of their fruits, and much play time in their beautiful yard. The kids loved climbing the trees to get just the perfect one, and Nate really enjoyed climbing in and out of the trailer again and again as you can see from the video.

Notice about halfway through the video, Nate's finger pointing, then his right hand waving. This may not seem much to you, but it is these little things that we celebrate in his progress. We work on things like this with his therapists and we have really been seeing so many new things the last couple of months. It is so cute!

Post first day

2008-08-20T14:59:00.002-05:00

She wasn't too full of words after her first day of school, but I didn't really think she would be. She is the quiet/observer type and when experiencing new things, it really takes a while for everything to soak in. She did tell me that the bus ride and music class were her favorite things.

The First Day

2008-08-19T13:33:00.002-05:00

Well, let's just hope that the pictures speak for themselves. It has been a big day at our house to say the least. The much anticipated bus ride to school was late - and 20 minutes late for your first day of school is a big deal! I was disappointed that we were not able to go to her classroom to take any pictures, but I understand that there are reasons . . .

The Big K

2008-08-18T20:28:00.003-05:00

That is kindergarten! You heard it, my baby will be starting school tomorrow and I am a wreck. Thank goodness that we still have only half day kindergarten, because I am really going to miss my girl.

I am terrified, not because she is leaving my care, but now I am forced to get it together! Being on time, sending in the right papers, knowing when school is in session and when it is not, having clean clothes (because I'm sure they don't have pajama day once a week at school), taking the snack when it is my turn . . . . the list goes on. Let's just say that being home with the children, well, everyday is pretty unstructured for us.

When I was teaching, my time was dictated by the clock. Lunch was at 11:23 and we had 18 minutes to eat, there were exactly 4 minutes to use the restroom between classes, the warning bell rang 2 minutes before class ended, etc. You get the picture. When I quit, I threw out my watch and decided that I no longer needed to live this way. It was hard at first, but now I never know the time, or care to know!

We are beginning a new chapter in our lives and it is scary. I have never had to turn over the care of any of my children to anyone else for any length of time. I have been in charge of the care of my children, what they wear, who they play with, what they eat, etc., and now I am learning to let go and trust that she will be fine.

Grace does not show a lot of excitement about school, and if you know her, that is typical. Unless it is something that she has already experienced, she is usually apprehensive. We have met her teacher and toured the classroom, but there are still a lot of unknowns for her. I know she will do just fine and love the school experience.

Our plan is to put her on the bus, then follow it to school (so I can get some pictures), and then cry all the way home, then wait for her to return home on the bus. Her backpack is loaded, clothes are clean (not ironed yet), and she is set to go at 12:15. I will post pictures tomorrow of my baby's first day. Happy back to school everyone!

New Look

2008-08-12T22:45:00.003-05:00

If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you will notice that I have been having lots of fun playing around with some fun new looks. I am learning a lot and probably couldn't do any of it again! Anyway, along with the new look, I also changed the name of the blog (go ahead and notice it, if you didn't already).

Life has been happening at a very rapid pace and over the last couple of years, I have learned much, grown much and have deepened my faith in God. I have decided that I don't have to run the race that most of us are in and that if I choose, I can walk or sit and rest, while the race continues on without me. My perspective on life has been changed.

As summer approached, I was researching like crazy all the things we could do to keep busy, so the kids wouldn't drive me crazy (I know, I am already there!). Then, one day it hit me, we don't have to be entertained all the time, and this is the last few months before Grace starts school, so let's just let the kids be 5, 3, and 1 and let's do the things that kids those ages should be doing. I bought a slip and slide, sand for the sand table, finger paints and paper and we have been entertained all summer.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments every hour, that someone is crying, whining, fighting, and really driving me batty, but I don't think I will ever look back on these years and regret the time that I have spent with my children. School is starting next week and I am getting really sad, as I will miss having Grace around all the time. We are starting a new chapter in our lives.

When I was teaching, this was my favorite time of the year, the time when you can break out the newly sharpened pencils, and clean notebooks. Since I am not teaching anymore, it is still one of my favorite times and I have chosen to start "fresh" and work to organize and simplify my life. We have way too much "stuff" and it is my goal over the next several months to rid our lives of this unnecessary stuff, so we can just enjoy each other and the short time that we have with each other.

Hello Kitty

2008-08-10T19:00:00.004-05:00

The highlight of our weekend was seeing Hello Kitty at the mall! The things we do for our kids. Sam, for those of you who know him, was just as excited about seeing the Kitty as Grace was! Nate, of course is always just along for the ride. I walked in the Race for the Cure and my legs are feeling all 5 miles or so that we ended up walking. I hate exercising and the thought never even crossed my mind that it would have made today easier if I had just gradually gotten up to the five mile walk! Oh well, I guess I'm still alive. Looking forward to this week as it is the last week before Grace starts school. That will be a new adventure all together.

Frustration

2008-08-08T10:56:00.000-05:00

I think I am a highly frustrated person. I guess that goes with the type A personality. I do not exhibit great qualities when dealing with my children and I hate what I am teaching/passing on to them.

This morning, after a rough week, I thought it to be a great idea to serve Grace some Gatorade for breakfast as she was not able to keep anything down yesterday. Whose idea was this?? It seemed fine at the time, not a lot of harm done. Of course, what Grace gets, so does Sam. Anyway, the entire bottle of Gatorade was spilled by Grace all over the clean kitchen floor, the wall and baseboard, the table and chairs and her.

After expressing my displeasure, I grabbed Nate (who was waiting to crawl through the big mess), a roll of towels and went to work. I let my tongue lash out at both Grace and Sam (even though Sam didn’t do anything, this time), and informed them that from now on, they are only allowed sippee cups since they obviously aren’t big enough to handle a real cup yet.

I got the mess cleaned up, sat down at the computer and proceeded to drip a little diet coke on the keyboard. Mad at myself now, this could have been more of a problem than something spilled on the kitchen floor and how silly of me to ream my kids when I turned around and did the same thing. I went and apologized to Grace and asked that if an accident like that happened again, that she please offer to help me clean up the mess or help in some other way.

This type of thing happens all the time for me and I am very slow to learn and change my behaviors/reactions. At least I know that I do this and that is one step in the right direction. Here’s to a lovely Friday!

Post Vacation

2008-08-07T20:54:00.002-05:00

The week after vacation -- ughh. Back in the swing again, reality. It has been one of those weeks already, and is isn't over yet! Monday led Ed to the doctor with a sinus infection. Tuesday, Nate went to the doctor for yet another ear infection (thank God we already have an appointment with the ENT next week). Wednesday, our power was out all morning, but I did manage to get the house cleaned up. Today, Ed woke me up to tell me that his car would not go into gear and he was waiting for the tow truck to come get it and take it to the dealer. Then, Grace woke up sick and has been puking all over everything in sight. We ended up taking Ed to work, running some errands, puking, cleaning floors once again, puking, and now this evening, Sam has a fever and I'm waiting for him to blow his hotdog all over me any time now. Let's hope for a better day tomorrow. At least the car wasn't that expensive and we do have it back now!

Vacation

2008-08-07T19:44:00.003-05:00

We decided to take a vacation with the kids to Minneapolis. I figured if we only made it to Des Moines, we would call it good, but, the kids traveled fantastically and we made it all the way to our destination. It was a great time, but now Ed and I need a restful vacation to ourselves! We went to the zoo, amusement parks, the Mall of America, a water park, and the children's museum. The kids did very well and we are already excited to plan our next outing (what they don't realize is that it will probably be another year from now!).

Ed, Grace and Sam played a round of mini golf. Sam would hit the ball once, then go where it rolled, pick it up and run the ball right up next to the hole. Then he would put it down and tap it in and declare "hole in one", every hole!

We saw many of the Nickelodeon characters, since the amusement park inside Mall of America was run by Nickelodeon. Nate is trying to escape Blue!

Poor Nate did an awful lot of riding in the stroller. Doesn't look like he's too crabby though!

Naps were skipped, dessert was eaten first, movies were watched, snacks were a must, fits were minimal, and at the end of the day, you can see how all the activities affected the boys!

Cleaning, Cleaning

2008-07-21T15:04:00.004-05:00

Have you ever looked forward to days of cleaning? Funny thing is, sometimes I do. At least it gives me a sense of accomplishment of the work involved. We have been very busy the last month or so and the house has gotten a little out of hand. So, we just stayed home today and worked in the kids rooms. This weekend, Ed was so kind to help with the idea I had to put up bunk beds in Sam's room. Little did he know what he was getting himself into. I had envisioned that the project would take a couple of hours or so, but we finally finished it before bedtime on Sunday night. I had bought two bed frames from a garage sale and decided to put them together to make bunks. However, one minor detail was that we only had one frame for the bed. I didn't think it would be too difficult to build another, and it wasn't, but as you know, nothing is ever as easy as it appears. All things done, it did turn out just the way I pictured it.

Today I have worked on picking up and cleaning the rest of Sam's room. Next up, Grace. This girl is a packrat already at age 5. She had stashes of all the happy meal toys she's ever received. Funny thing is, that I have always thought I did a pretty good job at throwing these things away often, since they really don't play with any of them. I had to take pictures of their clean rooms, because, frankly, they hardly ever look this way!

This is all that I have managed to do today (well not exactly), besides breakfast, lunch, diaper changes, shower, dressing, etc.

Speaking of cleaning out, isn't it wonderful when you find something you have lost or didn't even know you had? I was trying to label and organize all of our little tapes from the camcorder. I had to watch all of them to see what was on each one. I came across yet another tape and put it in and found footage from January 2007 of me holding Noah in the NICU. I don't even recall anyone taping this, but by some miracle, we have it. It felt so great to find such a surprise (kind of like putting on a jacket/coat at the beginning of the fall/winter season and finding a $10 bill or something). Someday, when I learn to post that kind of video on here, I will share it with you. One thing that makes me so sad is that so many of you did not even get to meet Noah while he was here. Some of you did not make it to the NICU, so the video is so good for everyone to see what life was life while we were there. For those of you who don't know about this part of our lives, I will have to spend a little unterrupted time and blog about our story sometime. For now, enjoy the rest of the afternoon :)

Can you spare a square?

2008-07-16T13:24:00.003-05:00

Once again, we reach to the floor for our squares of toilet paper. This has become a recurring theme in our house lately. But isn't the culprit cute? I don't even bother to roll it all back up anymore.

Just My Opinion

2008-07-15T22:00:00.002-05:00

Last May, our family participated in the March of Dimes March for Babies walk in Kansas City. I think we did really well as a team at raising a lot of funds to go toward preventing premature births. I do however, have a complaint about most all organizations like this one. Lately, I have been receiving all sorts of things from the organization thanking us for our participation and the donations we helped raise. I certainly don't mind the letter of thanks, but I wish it would stop there. As you can see by the plaque that is pictured, I was considered a top walker in the area. The letter said that only 1% of the walkers raise over $2000. We have also received a "prize" for raising a certain level of money.

More than anything else, I want everyone to know that I would never participate in a walk for any of the "prizes" or the recognition. I only want to help raise awareness/donations to help prevent other family from going through what we have. I only walk so that others don't have to live in the NICU, putting their normal lives out of whack, go on one heck of an emotional roller coaster ride, or even bury their child. I hate that these organizations, all of them do this, must send these items to all the participants. I wish they would just keep the money spent on such prizes, plaques, gift cards, etc. and put it toward helping others. And really, am I really going to hang such a plaque in my house anyway??

I am so glad to be helping such an organization, and knowing that a good portion of the money raised does go for the things I deem important, but I do not need any of the other "stuff". Maybe I don't understand this concept because I worked in the public school system, where we had to scrape our coins together just to get adequate supplies for the kids. I know that many business people are familiar with this "wine and dine" philosophy, but I have a hard time with it when there are so many other useful ways we could spend the money.

2008-07-10T21:33:00.002-05:00

So, my sister gave me a new cookbook way back when, "The Sneaky Chef" it is called. I was so inspired to get my family eating healthy at the time, I went out and got the latest Cuisinart food chopper and began puree-ing everything in sight. That is where the party stopped! I have now had a freezer full of little baggies of purple, orange, and white puree for quite some time. Today, I decided to have a "good mom" day and put the purees to work. My chefs were anxiously awaiting our treats for the day -- PB & J muffins and Brainy Brownies. The first recipe included pureed carrots and sweet potatoes and the latter has spinach and blueberries in it! With much "help", we got both recipes accomplished and the kids did just as the book described. They ate up the muffins and begged for about half the pan of brownies! I had to try this for myself, and I must say that they weren't too bad. A lot of work, but I am going to try to freeze some of the muffins in order to pull them out for a quick lunch.

Nate even enjoyed the brownies as well! With a little Soy milk, of course.

Next on our agenda, sack lunches. In an effort to actually teach our kids about kindness, poverty, hunger, and just helping those who need it, we have been making sack lunches given to the homeless by our church. The kids decorate the sacks with stickers (today was Easter stickers!), then fill them with the suggested items. It has been a really good experience for all of us and Grace is always full of questions. "Maybe I could put some money in the sack for the people", is the recurring request she has when preparing the lunches. It is honestly the sweetest and kindest thing she says.

While I was being "good mom" today, most other things get left untouched. This is probably my biggest struggle right now, balancing the mom/housekeeper/wife/friend/daughter/sister roles that I try to keep up daily. So, this is what some of the other places in the house looked like when I went to bed tonight and will probably stay this way until we have company or something!

Yes, the green bucket sitting in the dining room is the "poopy underwear" soaking bucket! It never seems to make it out to the garage, because we need it too often!

Does anyone else's kitchen counters look like this??

Nate Walking

2008-07-10T17:38:00.004-05:00

Here is the video I have been trying to get for a couple of days now. Finally, I have it! He was looking so darn cute today and the floor was halfway picked up, so it especially made for some good footage!

Here is a better picture of how cute he was today. Sorry the video is so dark, I guess I really need to work on the lighting in the house!

Fun in the Sun

2008-07-08T20:52:00.002-05:00

It has been a really busy month! Grace and Sam have been taking swimming lessons at our neighborhood pool every day for the last 3 weeks, so that is where we have been spending a lot of time. At first, they didn't have goggles, but when they saw the other kids with them, they had to have them. Funny thing is, that they think they can do anything with the goggles. I have tried to tell them otherwise, but these little things have given them confidence to do anything! I call Sam "flyboy", because he resembles a fly with them on! Grace was even learning to dive into the deep end of the pool toward the end of the lessons. I can't believe what a difference it has made. They have made some new friends in the neighborhood as a result, which can come in handy. Sam isn't afraid of anything - the last day of lessons, the teacher told him to go over and play in the shallow end. While the teacher was not looking, Sam just jumped right into the 9 foot deep water and didn't come to the surface. The teacher had seen him do it from halfway across the pool and she went under very quickly to retrieve him. She said that he was just sitting at the bottom, eyes wide open and looking around! He was so proud of himself. I am glad that it didn't scare him like it did me!

We spent the weekend of the fourth in St. Louis. Here are some pictures of the kids from that trip. The summer is flying by and I can't believe it is almost time to start thinking about school.

Nate has been doing well and the ENT said to pay him another visit in August. We are hoping that whatever is in his ear will just go away with time, as the doctor couldn't really tell anything from the CAT scan. Big news is that he is now walking! He has been working on it for about a month now and he is finally getting it! I wouldn't say that this is his main method of transportation, but he is really practicing all the time. I will try to post a video of him walking, it is very cute.

For those of you who actually read this, thanks for being patient with me. I really want to be able to post more often, but time really slips past me. I have a friend who also has a blog and has the same issues with infrequent posts. I have challenged her to post before I can, so maybe it will light a fire under each of us! Hang in there with me.

Sam

2008-06-10T22:33:00.002-05:00

One afternoon, I went to check on Sam during rest time. He obviously was very quiet, which makes me suspicious. This is what I found! You may not be able to tell, but he was keeping very busy sticking about a box of band-aids all over his body. His bed was covered in the little pieces of trash and I couldn't resist running for my camera. What else was I going to do?

This is very representative of how he spends most of his waking time.

Grace's new do

2008-06-10T22:28:00.002-05:00

My baby turned 5! We made a big change, since she is soon going to begin a new chapter in her life (she goes to Kindergarten in the fall). I love how it turned out. Here she is before the cut . . .

And after . . .

Nate's World

2008-06-10T22:11:00.002-05:00

Here are a few recent pictures of Nate. As you can see, he is getting to be quite a big boy (all 17 pounds of him)! He continues to grow and develop in an upward direction, which is music to our ears. Of late, we have been battling many ear infections. So many, that, we have now been seeing an ENT. At our first visit, the doctor looked extensively into his left ear, in which he suspected a cyst on his eardrum. Not wanting to talk about ear tubes until we checked further into this cyst thing, we scheduled a CAT scan of his ears. That was yesterday. We assumed that he would have to be sedated in order to have him lay still enough to get through the scan. After much waiting and praying on my part, they were able to get the scan with him being asleep. As we were waiting on the sedation team, I just prayed that they wouldn't have to put him out. My prayers were answered. I know that I am being a little irrational, but with Nate, I have so many fears that he might not wake up from the sedation and so forth! Funny that I don't really have these same thoughts with Grace and Sam so much. Anyway, I got a call from the ENT office today and the report is that everything is normal - for whatever that is worth. I did not speak to the doctor himself, as he is on vacation for 2 weeks! So much for us sleeping through the night in the next three weeks or so! The news is good and bad. Good in that there is no cyst, bad that now we must start at square 1 again and figure out what this abnormality in his ear is exactly. I am pretty sure that they will not schedule surgery for tubes until they figure this out first.

Other than his ears, he is doing very well. You can see in this first picture that he must have gotten a hold of a half eaten pop-tart that was probably lying on the floor! He sure liked it!

He is also quite fond of climbing the stairs oh, about 200 times a day. He thinks it is funny to look down through the spindles at me as I am chasing him.

Eating still wears him out!

He is also starting to climb on whatever is around for him to manuever on. We were at the park one day and he loved climbing on the equipment as well as swinging.

Not your ordinary trip

2008-06-09T16:11:00.003-05:00

I haven't been to the cemetary for quite some time now, not because I don't want to go, but because I rarely get a chance to go alone, or with Ed. Don't get me wrong, I love my children dearly, but I have recently been referring to them as fleas, because no matter where I am, they are always on me! Anyway, not able to get there alone, I dediced to visit Noah's grave with three kids (fleas) in tow. Once there, the visit unfolds like a script from a TV sitcom.

Nate was really checking out his brother's marker. It is my hope that somehow, he will always remember his brother and know that he and Noah shared something very special.

It is kind of tradition now, that every time we visit the cemetary, we stop and get helium balloons to take and let them to so that they will float all the way to heaven so Noah can enjoy balloons just like Grace, Sam and Nate do. So we stopped and got a balloon for each of them to let go.

Being that it was a day or two after Memorial Day, the cemetary was full of flowers. Most of them are plastic nonetheless, but where Noah is at (a special Baby Land), people also leave all sorts of stuffed toys, or other toys for the children/babies. Well, Sam decided to pick every flower he could get his hands on and also thought it would be fun to play with any of the toys that he found. He was mad when I told him that it was disrespectful to take the things left at the graves and that he needed to put them back. Anyway, after a bout of tantrums, I sat down and began bawling. Missing Noah yes, but also so wanting him to be here to play a part in our circus of a family. Sam must have thought it hilarious to see me crying on the ground, so he comes and starts cracking up laughing in my face. Well, I think it was about time for us to go!

After we loaded up to leave, Sam tells me he needs to potty. There is not anywhere to go at this point, so I ask if he can wait until we get to Hyvee. After all this, I still needed to go grocery shopping with 3 kids! He says yes. About 5 seconds pass, and he reports that his car seat is getting wet. I pull off the road in the cemetary, snatch him out of the van, yank his soaking pants and underwear off and tell him to pee right there on the side of the road. I am so thankful there was not a burial service in process. Anyway, here he is naked, strapped in his car seat and on our way home for dry pants so we can still go to Hyvee! What a day.

All I could do is laugh and take his picture -- definitely not your ordinary trip to the cemetary!

A Day of Play

2008-05-13T13:36:00.003-05:00

So, you can see that the kids are outside playing. . . what you may not notice is their "chosen" clothing choices. It is currently about 73 degrees and a little overcast - not that hot, but not chilly either. Grace came downstairs wearing the seen outfit with brown suede dress shoes - she was told that she needed something different. Sam picked out a sweatshirt, put it on himself (backwards) and is wearing corduroy pants with tennis shoes. I did explain the weather before they picked out their ensembles, but I was too lazy to make them change. After all, it is 1:30 in the afternoon and everyone but me is now dressed!

My Stay at the Hospital

2008-04-30T22:30:00.003-05:00

I only wanted to be held, and my mommy always gives in!

Entertainment in room 16! Poppy played the princess game with Grace and looked so pretty doing so.

I would rather drink my oxygen than have this rubber thing in my nose again.

Just hanging out in my bed.

Don't think that we just left him in his bed all the time, but do you see the hoses and cords dangling from the railing? We were tethered to the wall and could only go from the bed to the recliner next to the bed.

2008-04-30T22:22:00.002-05:00

It saddens me that the only time I can get a picture of the three kids together is in the bathtub! Not sure what we ate for dinner that night, but no wonder Sam is always asking for a snack, most of his meal is on his body instead of in his belly!

2008-04-30T22:15:00.004-05:00

I am just trying to update the blog with some more recent pictures of our children. Hopefully, this will work out for me the way I intended it to! O.K., so I don't think the picture is showing on this page, but if you click on the blank box with the red X, where there is supposed to be a picture, a slideshow of Nate should show up!

Next Calvin Klein model?

2008-03-13T22:13:00.021-05:00

I'm not sure what got into me on Tuesday, but I decided today was the day I was going to potty train Sam. Not sure what was special about today, hadn't even planned to do so on this day. All I had really hoped for is to pick up the house and be a good mom to the kids. I got some wild hair idea that he was finally going to do it (not that I had been trying - that would have involved too much work!). Mind you, he has been pooping on the toilet for about a month now, I know, backwards from what we all read and experience for most kids, but this is Sam, remember. I have to admit, I was a little nervous about peeing. After we had three pairs of wet big boy underwear that morning, I think something finally clicked with him. He was accident free the remainder of the day! I decided to go cold turkey from diapers to underwear as I did with Grace. My opinion is that Pull-ups are pretty much overpriced diapers anyway. Wednesday, we had many errands to run while Grace was at preschool, and I didn't want to chance an accident, so we opted for the diaper for public appearances. That afternoon, no accidents the rest of the day. He pottied Wednesday night before bed, got up and went Thursday morning and his diaper from the night was bone dry! Thursday we had plans to go to gymnastics and I decided to take my chances and go for the underwear in public. Much to my surprise, he did wonderfully and had no

Can you believe that I can write so much about going to the bathroom? I had to take the pictures above, because he is so proud of his new garments. We will of course see how the rest of the weeks to come play out, but I have been pleasantly surprised. By the way, I ditched the potty chair for Sam -- it grosses me out too much and I figure that he can just learn one pot and take it from there.

Probably more than anyone cared to know, but this is my life!

Nate is Crawling

2008-03-13T16:07:00.012-05:00

Boy have we come a long way in the last couple of months! Nate has now mastered crawling and is pulling up on everything. He sure is fast, and plays a game with me similar to hide and seek, I am always the seeker! He is up the stairs in no time flat and thinks he is hot stuff. After he started crawling, he said his first word, mama. Did this ever melt my heart or what -- he is the only one who hasn't said dada first. He is developing such personality and loves to interact with Grace and Sam. They are so good with him and often "compete" for his attention. As you can see from the video of him crawling, he still has no hair -- no surprise there, as none of the others had much of it either.

See my teeth

I'm a big boy now

2007 Christmas Letter

2007-12-20T21:37:00.000-06:00

So, this is my third attempt at writing our annual Christmas letter! I have started the letter twice with the intent of recapping the past year of the Tohill lives, but it is just too painful to approach it that way, so I am just going to give everyone the latest update on each individual of our family.

I must mention first, that most of you know the detailed story of the birth of Nathan and Noah, but I usually wrote very little about Grace and Sam during that time. May I tell you that these are two really great kids. With all of the events that happened, they were troopers through it all. They are not usually left very often, and when things got hairy, they were so flexible, willing to go with anyone and everyone who volunteered to watch them. Their lives were pretty much chaos for a period of time, as I tried very hard to keep things "normal" for them.

Ed is still working at Burns and McDonnell in the Infrastructure Division. He pretty much has been working on projects locally and does not have to travel (we all love that). His work has been awesome at allowing him the time off that he needed to have in the beginning of the year. He amazes me at how he can juggle work, family, household chores and projects and occasionally squeezes in a round of golf. He is a great dad and much help to me.

I am still staying home with the kids and trying to keep my sanity! I gave up running the playgroup with our church but we still attend and are involved. I have given myself the title of Chief Family Organizer which includes lining up doctor visits, therapy, running kids to activities, etc. For the most part, we keep busy. I am still working on getting through the obstacles we were faced with, there are some days when I'm not sure that I want to get out of bed, but I am hopeful that with time, my heart will continue to heal.

Grace is growing up very quickly, she turned 4 in May. She participated in the Dance Ministry through our church and took ballet classes. It is so adorable to see the girls in their little leotards performing! She played soccer for the first time this fall. It was a shaky start, mostly jumping around cheering for her teammates, but she showed a lot of improvement and soon was scoring goals. She also started Preschool three days a week, which has been really good for her. It is hard to believe how much she has grown up and will soon be in shool full time.

Sam has become a real boy this year! Don't get me wrong, he still loves to put on the plastic princess high heels and push his lawn mower around! He is such an easy-going boy, but he found a very renewable source of energy in the last six months or so. He wears me out, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We worried for a while that his verbal skills seemed to be lacking, but not to worry. . .one day he woke up and began talking and hasn't stopped. For those of you who haven't seen him in a while, well, let's just say that he is Eddie Junior! He is cooperative for the most part and has learned how to manipulate his mom really well.

Nate. Where do I start? Well, let's just say that we are maching free (since August) and he has remained pretty healthy so far. He receives therapy about once a week through Missouri First Steps and visits the developmental pediatrician every so often, but other than that, he is just a regular baby. Most of his milestones are calculated according to his due date and so mostly he is considered around 8 months old. He is sitting up now and is showing signs of crawling. He is eating well and will eat about anything we throw his way. He has gained significant ground with his weight and now weighs about 15 pounds. Not bad for starting at 1! He is a great baby, sleeps well through the night, happy and never cries. He is our miracle. We know how blessed we are for his outstanding health, and realize that he could of very well had numerous complications. We are still very cautious with him as far as keeping him healthy throughout this winter season. Hopefully, by next year, we won't have to worry to much. One last thing about Nate, can you believe that he will be 1 year old in just a few weeks??

Once again, we can't say enough thanks to each and everyone of you for all the support and encouragement over this last year. It was amazing to us how God uses each one of you to touch our lives. We love you all.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas season!

2007-10-17T18:24:00.000-05:00

Nate is always smiling, when he's not sleeping!

Grace and Sam pretending to love each other!

Sorry that I have let time get away from me. Things get sort of busy at times. We are busy gearing up for Halloween with parties, parades, trunk-or-treating, etc. Grace has decided she wants to be Hello Kitty this year and Sam is going as a firefighter. Nate, well we will see which costume we own will fit! Grace is enjoying her first year at preschool, and is making new friends. I thought preschool would give me a small break to do errands with only two kids, but I was wrong! Just taking her to and from school, we end up loading and unloading the car 8 times! These carseats sure are safe, but they also are a pain. Grace has also been playing soccer for the first time and she is really enjoying the snack tickets at the end of each game - and also scoring goals! She is also participating in children's choir at church and is starting to come out of her shell just a little. We recently attended a Princess Party which is where these pictures were taken.

Sam is getting very boylike! He is keeping me busy always. He has changed so much over the last 6 months, it is scaring me. He took forever to talk, but now he will not quit. We are looking forward to the time when he can participate in a few more physical activities, as he needs a good outlet for all his energy.

Nate is growing and now has his first tooth! He looks more and more like Sam every day. He is such a good baby, I'm not sure what I did to deserve this (not that Grace and Sam were bad)! I am confident that he will be sitting on his own within the next month or so. He still struggles to eat as much as we would like, but he is also growing steadily so we cannot complain. With winter approaching, we are all scheduled to get our flu shots and trying to keep as healthy as we can. It has been stressed to us that this winter is extremely critical to Nate's overall health and for future lung issues. We will pray that we all stay in good health and that we will have a mild winter!

2007-09-22T12:47:00.000-05:00

I recently took the kids to Hallmark, where they had a casting call for child models (thanks to Debi S.). While I was trying to get them ready to go, I decided to lay Nate in his crib while I corraled the others out of the bath and shower. At some point, Grace and Sam wanted to join Nate in his bed and I couldn't resist the picture.

Just Starting

2007-09-18T11:27:00.000-05:00

Hello. I am just trying to figure out how all of this electronic stuff works. I am in the process of trying to create digital scrapbooks of our pictures of the kids. I hope this will be an easy way to share our experiences and pictures with you. Thanks for visiting.

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox